BlogYYY
June 23, 2009,5:08:00 pm
not very happy evernsince yesterday night at 10...
my eyes is really swoolen and i can only see 1 line..
even mum and grandma have notice this..
i've run out of excuse to explain the cause of the swollen..
but yet, i've got no excuse to make myself stop crying...
yesterday i've flip on the bed for 3 hours, and cried till 1am, before i sleep.
thought so much things, and kind of regretted the break.
he said after o lvl, we will start all over again...
he said we got to forgo the past before going for the future...
my instict says it isn't possible for this o happen...
more things might really happened in between..
on sms, he said we are still friends...
ya.. i still took him as my bestie...
but now, i'm not like last time...
i don't know how to appraoch him to talk like a friend...
on sunday, my heart is smashed into pieces.
yesterday, my heart is crushed.
i don't know how to start mending it.
i don't know how many days is needed for me to stop brooding over the past.
i know, the mending of my heart will take months...
is exactly the smae feeling when i broke off with mel...
i'm at a lost..
everytime i cries, i fold a star, and put it in a glass bottle...
until the bottle is filled, i will bring it to the beach and bury it..
take it as burrying my sadness..
i don't know if it works.. just try..
i know i'm trying to run away from the sadness..
but there's nothing more could i do other than burrying myself in work and play.
sleeping is the only timie that i could be alone.
but i will just start to cry after 1 minute on the bed...
he've said so much times that i've changed...
but i still don't get it...
why is he the only person that mentioned my changed?
why are my other best friends not mentioning it?
well.
maybe the break is good for us in some way, but i just didn't realise it ba.
last week went ti diana house ad play tarots..
it says that i will have something to new to deal with..
its true...
its the new journey of mine that embark independence.
and i have to star dealing with the fear and sadness over tat relationship...
i know that it's impossible for the patch..
but i just cant help pinning little hopes on patch...
i will try and make myself to forget the relationship that i once had with him..
not in the mood to get a new guy either...
maybe i will just wait for my feelings to go...
and this is a big project that my take more than a year....
cause i'm really deep inside...
i felt the "pain" that he had gone through after the thorough break...
nevertheless, i will try not to be distracted by this incident..
promise to be back to myself when school reopens..
250708
010808 bye memories............
070908Labels: sad