can read?
i love this pic.
its saying that the girl gave the guy her heart.
but the guy broke it and walk away.
leaving the girl with broken heart.

he's such a jerk can.
i learnt not to be stupid to take out your whole heart for a guy.
half will do. =)



yo yo ma is performing in sg SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i hope you'll be happy from now on.
must stay happy ks. loves.






first thing in the morning.
i realised that this fri is a school holiday.
went to sms him to see if his free.
actually i know the answer myself.
he is never free.
yet i'm so stupid to ask him.
haix.
so he replied as i don't know which most probably is not free.
ya. i'm the stupid one in this relationship.

suffered so much yet i still cant let go.
i will stand up today and start forgetting bout all the tiny bits that we shared.

我受了多少委屈多少痛你知道吗?
不管你怎样对我我都原谅你.
我都接受.
可是为什么你就不能把你手头上的忙碌放开一天呢?
我不管有多忙碌我都尽量抽一天出来.
连朋友都不要, 都排第二了.
为什么你不能这样对我?
为什么我不可以有一段甜蜜的感情?
为什么凡事都是我迁就你?
连假期我都不能和你出去.
那我得等到及时.............


friday.
a full day outing for me.
i went out at 10am and reached home at 11.
haha.





















the innocence in the angel is just like the innocence in those kids.

today.
hectic yet fun day.
looking at the kids having music lessons, sort of reminded me of my days in primary school.
especially the time when our syf is drawing near.
its hectic, yet fun.
the unity that the whole class have is not what i can see frequently outside.
their innocence in the kids eyes is what i like.
they are living such a carefree life now.
kind of want to go back to those days.
if only there is a time machine.........................................

if there is a time machine, there is somethings that i wish i hadn't done.
there is something i wish that i had done it too.
i will still join ensemble.
i will still join CO regardless of how regretful i am currently.
first, they let me get in touch with different kinds of music.
they let me know friends that are really nice.
allow me to know who shared the same interest with me.
i get to perform with different kind of standards of orchestra.
i've been to the best orchestra, i've been to the worst orchestra.
also i get to take different roles.
i ever sat on the best seat.
i ever sat on the worst seat.

some people have been saying that my life is interesting.
i disagree previously but now, i start to agree.
i tried what others may not have a chance to try.
i have nice instructors that bonds with me well.
i have an instructor that watch me grows.
cool eh?

if there's a time machine.
i will not go with the wrong guy anymore.
how much i hope now, that i hadn't shared my life with a bustard before.
i wouldn't have played so much in my psle and land myself in that school, that bunch of classmates.
ok fine.
i love the school.
but not that bunch of classmates.
if i time could go back, i wouldn't want to be friends with that bitch.
i wouldn't accept her "apology".

life is full of unexpected events.
who would expect myself to land in temasek poly with the course that i wants to go so much?
who would expect that i actually continued violin so long?
who would expect that i would be so close to a guy now that's once my ex.
so close that we tell each other so much stuffs.

what i want to know now, is the ending of me and him.
will we remain friends in the end or will we continue our journey.......

happy anniv baby....

Labels: a small act, yet significant

yesterday went to beach alone.
first thing cause i'm sick of being at home.
because my grandma like kept on scolding me for nothing yesterday la!!!!!!!!
ZZZzzz.
seriousaly i super fucking angry.
i wanted to bathe in her toilet what.
cause got mirror right.
the kitchen toilet no mirror right.
how to wash face!!!!
and she like started scolding.
so yesterday i was so anygry that i bought a mirror and i hung it at the kitchen toilet.

she can scold for anything.
even if my hair drops she also scold.
is either she don't talk to me or she scolds.

damn sick of her.
yesterday i went to the beach.
there is this uncle who is like ask me.
him: girl ah. why u here huh
me : walk walk lo
him: don't walk in such a deserted place lei. later got robbers huh.
       if got uncle here nvm. i can protect you lei later uncle go liao how?
me : okok thank you thank you. (walk off)

i don't know what to say. but ya i know he meant well. so thanks lo.

have been blog shopping!!!!!!!!!
i saw alot of beautiful dresses.
but din buy.
cause i'm officially broke! =(
wait till next tuesday k!
and i will get all my pay once and for all! =)


A small yet significant act.
Which not every couple get to do it frequently.
---> holding hands


today is damn damn damn tiring.
cause last night slept late.
this morning like wake damn early.
wanted to sleep at 10 am.
my grandma scolded me for not bathing before i sleep.
after i bathe i went to sleep.
she start scolding for not waiting for myself to dry up.
is like wtf la.
i've got no time to sleep already la!!
and i got to get down for rehearsals at 11.
she just don't allow me to sleep.
by the time i dry myself i no need sleep already la!!!!!!!!!

so in the end i end up so sleepy.
went for rehearsals and met up with zr after that.
went to queenstown to get FBTs where we were almost lost!
thank god we have a mouth.
which allow us to ask!

i spent a total of $60+++ dollar in 2 days.
the 3 FBTs have cost me $33. o dear............
got to work for more money!!!!!!!!!

me and baby is getting along well again.
i hope we will stay like that.
i don't want any quarellings with him anymore.
and that guy!!!
FASTER COME BACK!!
i wana watch that jap music show!!!!!
i REALLY REALLY wana watchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.


hi.
its veen a long time since i last blogged.
to that person that is going to climb that whatever mountain today.
BON VOYAGE!!!!!!!!
don't miss me so much that you can't concentrate on climbing! haha.(jkjk)
ya.
so come back fast! if not i've got no one to go crazy with. haha

hmm.
received a phone call from TP recently.
i was inform that i have an AEL camp.
yup.
its my course camp.
got to fork $50 out for that camp you know!!!!!!!!!
ya. but die die got to go.
=(




i'm alright i guess.
thanks to people who have been with me all these while.
i will try to straighten out my thoughts.
MIGHT mia.
so don't be surprised if you guys cant contact me.
i promise you guys that i will be happy from the bottom of my heart once the rainy days are over. =)

of course i hope it will be over soon............................




Was almost knocked down by 2 vehicles that day.
They should have knocked me down.
Cause at least i wun b feeling so miserable now. Haix

You seems as though you are more hurt den me.
You seems as though you have lost your feelings.
But i cant do anything bout it.
I will try n get lost from your life temporary. Dun worry.


yesterday went out with him down to synwin.
after that went to the esplanade library where i met my syco friends.
saw jie lin yesterday too!

the concert yesterday was rather nice.
saw mr lim at the concert yesterday.
was surprised.

to him:
i know you're busy.
but i didn't expect you to be busy the the state that you cant even spare a few minutes for me.
i asked you to change for me for once.
i asked you to manage your time properly so that i can have the little time of yours.
but all you tell me is you are only free on sunday morning.
i asked you if next week you are really that busy.
you said yes.
i don't dare to think how busy you are for the next 2 yrs of your jc life.
its like just the starting of jc life, and you are putting me aside.
what will just happen if we continue to walk on?
i don't dare to think how long more do i get to meet you.
its been 2 weeks plus.
and the previous time we met was only 2 hours.
when will we meet again.
during the day when i want to say break?
or is it during my birthday?
or worst still.
might not even see you till my birthday is over.
i remembered previously i said you can concentrate on your studies.
we can like talk once a week and we can meet up once in 2 weeks.
i said that before your jc started.
you said you cannot take it.
haha. but it seems that you are better of than me now.
weird.
you can totally give me cold shoulders for weeks.
not talking to me for more than a week.
not going out for 2 weeks. stepping into the third week now.
for your sunday morning.
i let you to have your beauty sleep.
what can we do in morning? go jogging is it.
i promised you in yesterday's sms that i wouldn't harass you.
that i will break with you after giving my last attempt of salvaging the whole thing.
it seems that you cant possibly change for me.
is alright.
maybe i'm having a unique boyfriend.
other guys in jc can go out with their girl once a week.
talk on the phone everyday.
i blamed myself for everything.
maybe cause other girls worth the sacrifices of their boy.
and i'm not.
from the start i warned myself not to sink in the realtioship.
you said why cant i love you like what i did to melvin.
now i did.
you're treating me this way.
thanks. seriously.
you said i seems to be giving up on you.
what hope can i carry on you now?
you can concentrate on your studies.
i will definitely do what i promised you.
i will leave you alone for the time being.
i hope you can think bout it for urself.
i have tried all the ways to save everything.
i know you're not mine anymore.
i know your new girlfriend is your textbook and your new school.
i can say nothing, but only to blame myself for being not understanding enough.
its my fault.
its never yours.
i'm a bad girl of yours for the pass 1.5 yrs.
i'm so sorry.
i will give you what you want most.
just let me carry the last hope.
hope that you will change.
by the end of april.
if things are still like that.
i will definitely leave you alone.
i will not harass you for the rest of your life anymore.
i will give you what you most wanted now.
which is to break with you.
cause i don't see the point in holding on to the relationship anymore.
cause i'm the only one that is making the effort to change.
and with my changes, you didn't even glance at me.
i hope you will be happy with the ending.


That day i went down for syco practices.
and i did something STUPID that made mus laughed non-stop! =(

usually when i go for practices i will forget either my stopper, tuner, or my scores.
that day i checked all and happily went out of my house.
thinking that this time round i would have brought everything.
and when i reached there i found out that i brought my cello without a bow. =.='''
fuck.
went around my sections to see if they have extras.
in the end i went to one of the backstage crew to get it.
luckily he digged one out for me.
whatsmore that day there was a re-recording.
what will happened if i really cant find a bow?

yesterday went down to synwin.
omg.
i saw this fabulous nice violin case.
=)
didn't asked for the price.
BUT ITS SERIOUSLY NICEEEEEEEEEEE!
and i love that blue!!!!!!!!!!

and..... why must you keep it from me, telling me there's nothing happened?
i knew all the while what had happened.

today.
gona go down to synwin again.
than will meet ying ying for the concert!!
was looking forward to it at first.
but i'm not in the mood to go for concert now. =(



i know its not good for me to suppress everything.
bu i got to do it in order to salvage everything.


YES!!!!!!!!!
it finally RAINED today!!!
had a damn good sleep cause its raining.
=)

first got to congratulate MX for getting to TP!!!!
WOHOO~ engine sku!!
anw. no need thanks !
i was still worrying how will i survive in the orientation without a person i know. lols.
ok. now got my dear mei xian with me!!!

first thing today.
read newspaper.
boring topics.
the headline today is about jack neo again.
somemore got top 10 girls that he have hit on. =.=
seriously this is not a hot topic anymore.
and i'm kind of getting bored.
anw.
he's really a jerk.
with a wonderful wife and 4 kids still want other girls.
tsk.
if i were his wife i would have gave him 2 tight slaps and filed for divorce.
hope there wouldn't be anymore jack neo stories tomorrow.
i'm kind of irritated by it already!

tonight there will be syco. =)
there will be re-recording for some bars. lols.
i hope my 4 strings wouln't loosen anymore.PLS!

i kind of start to miss changkat.
miss my sec sch days although i once hate it.
miss wearing uni although i hope to wear home clothes to school.
i miss studying with my besties and gossiping with them in class!!!!!! =(
my god. i miss so much things.
but like i said.
its all in the past.
as long as we have treasured the times we are together, there wouldn't be any regret.

what most girls want in a relationship is just attention from the guys.
but most of the time, the guys will either concentrate too much on the work, games or studies.
neglecting the girl and putting her at 1 side.
when they feel like it they will tell her "i love you"
when they dont feel like it they will just tell her "i'm busy. sorry"
sometimes sorry doesn't make any difference.
cause its just an empty sorry.


this morning started of with reading newspaper.
omg.
i took like 1 hour to read half the newspaper.
ok.
after that got online.
started talking to jiahao and jordan.
and jiahao was blaming me for being "dao" at him yesterday la.
lols.
ps lo.
was rushing to work wad.
haha.

i started checking for my school's orientation schedule.
its starting on 14 april.
sian.
got to meet my enemies.
got to go there with sports attire.

aiyo.
i really really should get like FBTs .
but i'm really very lazy to get it. =(

got to go for violin tonight.
i HOPE i play well.
today is like testing scales and pieces + sight reading!!!!
ZzzZzzZzzZzz.
i don't want to get retained back just for practicing violin.

might go out with elena this fri.
which i hope we really get to go out.
it was like so long since the last time i met up with the siao zha bo .


This post is specially dedicated to my beloved besties who ve been comforting me all this while when i'm down.

Thanks for comforting me these few days. Specially mus! Must ve wasted much of ur saliva. Haha. Ya. I will try to let down. But at the same time i pray hard for miracle to happen. I will try to b more understanding towards him. But thanks guys ! Seriously. N to mx n belle! Love u gals lots!!! Muacks! =)


Yesterday was seriously super boring.
So i was practicing violin n cello for the first half of the day.
After that i slept,eat,n get on com.
Den went down to the park with my mum n bro.
Came back watch tv!
End of day. Boring right!

To him:
finally u asked me out yesterday. Thanks. But sorry got to reject u. I duno why i just dun feel like seeing u currently. I duno how to express my current feeling. But i duno how to face u for now. Sorry to disappoint u.

O. And today is zx birthday!
Happy birthday!!!

Not going out with that gal.
Cause she last minute cancelled.
Pro right!
She is the wan organising it but the one that cancelled it!

Sorry to burden u.


Kind of tired.
So today went down changkat to tutor those sec 2.
One of my student actually from damai!!
Wad a coincidence.
So he start asking me "u from damai primary right!"
I was so shocked that i tot he actually stalked me.
So after chatting he told me that he is from damai too.
N he remembered seeing me appearing in damai numerous times.
But i seriously cant remember seeing him. Oops.

Monday gona work 5 to 10.
Hope can work at least 200 this month.
At least i'm able to bank in 100 n pass my mama 100.
But duno how to celebrate zx's birthday lei.
Think i got to go after awhile. :( ps.

Today did marking n recording.
Tutored this malay gal..
Omg. She is always day dreaming. Zzz.
But it was fun afterall.

I'm feeling abit better today.
=)


We finally talk on the phone. For 10 mins. But why do i keep pushing u to study?? Wads wrong with me. I tot i've been waiting for u to call me. But now i'm asking u to study. Asking u not to call me anymore. Haix. Wad do i want actually. Now i got to wait very long for the next 10 mins call.....


i'm finally done with the hectic day and now is a brand new day!
yay.
yesterday was seriously so hard to get by u know.
cause i'm looking forward to the end of my day the first minute when i get out of my bed!.
=(

yup.
so i woke up at 6.30 feeling kind of sleepy.
yup.
7. met him and ate breakfast with him.
supposedly to have extra lesson with mr tong yesterday.
but he got to do something so it was cancelled last minute.
so after teaching, i went home for a while.
meet up with him again @11.30 to go to a place.
ya. that place is where i've got my dear zx's pressie. =)
after that i went back to teach.
yesterday i was seriously not in the mood to do anything.
actually ah.
this whole week i'm not in the mood to do anything.
the only thing that i wana do is to hide under my blanket and cry.

yestersay syco was sectional.
omg. i was so attracted by the teacher when he plays u know!!!
seriously. he can turn an old disgusting cello to a damn nice sound cello la!!!!!!!
omg omg omg.
but ah. he like married more than once la.
so ya.
he is only me idol.
no other thoughts ok!!
and that austrailia choco is so nice!!!
i'm tempted to eat the whole box. =X

after that was talking to him on the phone .
after we hang up i immediately slept.
like in less than 5 mins i'm in my lala land already!! haha

yesterday i called you after my tired day had ended.
i didn't answer my call.
u didn't texted me what happened.
till this morning.

u : baby... sry... i'm really busy...
me : lol. nvm.
u : sry, cnt make u happy.
me : i'm happy . dun worry.
u : i doubt so.
me : i m. dun tink too much
u : hais... okay
me : why u haix?
u : i duno if u are lieing or not...
me : even if i m. even if u know i'm not happy these days it oso doesn't matter.

doesn't matter. cause u cant do anything to it.
i've put in all my heart and soul.
and i'm returned with being lost.
u said i don't care bout u anymore.
u said i gave up on u.
all these is cause by one thing : i don't expect anything from u already.
i tried coaxing you.
using the method he told me.
i told u i miss u.
never did i expect u to return this to me : y u always like that wan...
what else can i say?
all i can reply is : o. ya lo. haha
don't worry. i wouldn't be like that anymore.
even if u asked for it.
i will only be like that for that ony moment.
don't expect me to be like last time coaxing u when u should be the one doing it.
your coaxing will forever not last for more than 10 mins.
so forget it.
i asked you out that day.
you told me that you're aren't free.
i've got this reply several times.
but 1 day. i went out shopping myself.
i told u i was alone shopping myself.
u were disappointed.
saying why didn't i asked you out.
so after that.
i asked you out again.
you said. sorry. i've got parents meeting.
u thought i was sad.
but i wasn't.
i'm immuned to it.
i can do everything myself.
i wouldn't need your company anymore.
i'm not what i'm used to be.
my only last thing i cant do, you also cant help is that i cant let this relationship go.
how many days, weeks, months of tears i've been keeping.
its bursting out soon.
i know u are busy.
i don't want to burden you with my feelings either.
i have no choice but to keep it from you.
i don't know if its my problem or is it your problem in this relationship.
but all i know is i cant go down like this.
all i need is to let u go before i say break.
i want to make it to a point that i will not let a tear out of my eyes when i say : lets remain as friends.


hmm.
seems to be better in violin.
have been playing for like 2 hours. haha!!!
at least most of the notes are in tune.
=)
i start to fall in love with LALO although someone said is boring. =(
i wonder why too.
haha. but at least i can play so much better than legende.
luckily i changed it to LALO in time.
if not i can forget about taking grade 8 this yr. haha

Recently have been hearing emo songs.
nice!!!
=)
and zx birthday is coming.
what to get for her ah.....
i lazy think leh....
can someone like think for me??
>.<

omg.
tomorrow gona be like a damn hectic day.
got to go down to damai for whole day and after that at night got to go syco.
=(
but i love going to syco.
but i might got to quit next yr.
cause.........
i duno how to say.
when school start i got 2 co's and got violin prac.
than still got to study.
so how.
alot of ppl advised me to quit 1 co.
ya. i know.
got to see how it goes first.
cause afterall i really really love being there alot.
its so fun.
and i get to learn so much things.

hmm. considering to take cello gr5 next year.
but ah....
i scared no time to prac lei. hahas.
but i duno why i just want to have at least 2 instruments that is gr8.
just have the sudden urge to do so.
BUT!!!
i will only take provided i can pass my violin with AT LEAST a merit.
heh. that's all.
got to prac cello next.
teacher gave me so many exercise to practise. T.T
help~~~~


Ok. Joke of the day.
She happily walk out of SCH without her cello.
And she farted in the mrt so loudly that ppl were all looking at her. But she wasn't embarrassed. I was the one that's embarrassed. Omg.

Yesterday had recording.
Cool. Fun. But stressed.
Cause the conductor is like scolding everybody la. :( so fierce.
N wads more.
My 4 strings all loosen suddenly in the middle of recording .
N i got to start acting. Grr!
N the march performance not al get to perform.
Only selected due to the stage being too small.
So ya. Can forget about going already.
Too lousy to get selected.

As for me n him. Still in cold war. We did sms each other 9 msg.
I no longer expect things from him.
Isn't it good?
He wun ve much burden.
But why he seems to b so unhappy bout it?
I tink we are on the verge to.....
I predict by this year we will definitely break.
Its not going to b a smooth one this year.
That's all.
Toodles~


ok.
1st march.
marks the end of CNY. =)
o ya. i think ystd was jordan's birthday.
so happy b-day. =)

ya.
so i think my plan is working now.
cause ya. he didn't sms me.
so neither do i bother to.
ya.
not sure if is the plan working or are we on cold war.
ya.
maybe cold war also good.
at least got a chance to be on our own
i will try not to miss him.
=)

so ya. early in the morning i went online
i saw charlene and belle
so went chatting with them like more than an hour.
and i was so busy with my fingers cause i'm smsing too.
haha.

and for my mixpod.
i know its an old song.
but its meaningful.
but i hate the design of the ipod.
i chged the size.
but instead of shrinking, it just cropped off the sides.
aiya. wadeva la.
cant be bothered.
miss my dad.
my dad went back to india.
haix
ok.that's all for today.

尽管没有你的日子多难过,我都会要紧牙根,自己走下去.

Sim Mei XIng =)
[jas]
gurl, 17
I'm living in rainbow town. I'm a innocent, naughty, and playful.
warning*** i bites.


her beloved bf Zx, mx, stella, diana, elena, brenda, bin han, kenneth, mustain. Colors : blue, black, grey
Foods : i love all kinds of food!!!
Movies : nodame cantabile!!

Contact me

YM : blablabla@yahoo.com
MSN : blablabla@hotmail.com