BlogYYY

March 05, 2010,12:11:00 pm

i'm finally done with the hectic day and now is a brand new day!
yay.
yesterday was seriously so hard to get by u know.
cause i'm looking forward to the end of my day the first minute when i get out of my bed!.
=(

yup.
so i woke up at 6.30 feeling kind of sleepy.
yup.
7. met him and ate breakfast with him.
supposedly to have extra lesson with mr tong yesterday.
but he got to do something so it was cancelled last minute.
so after teaching, i went home for a while.
meet up with him again @11.30 to go to a place.
ya. that place is where i've got my dear zx's pressie. =)
after that i went back to teach.
yesterday i was seriously not in the mood to do anything.
actually ah.
this whole week i'm not in the mood to do anything.
the only thing that i wana do is to hide under my blanket and cry.

yestersay syco was sectional.
omg. i was so attracted by the teacher when he plays u know!!!
seriously. he can turn an old disgusting cello to a damn nice sound cello la!!!!!!!
omg omg omg.
but ah. he like married more than once la.
so ya.
he is only me idol.
no other thoughts ok!!
and that austrailia choco is so nice!!!
i'm tempted to eat the whole box. =X

after that was talking to him on the phone .
after we hang up i immediately slept.
like in less than 5 mins i'm in my lala land already!! haha

yesterday i called you after my tired day had ended.
i didn't answer my call.
u didn't texted me what happened.
till this morning.

u : baby... sry... i'm really busy...
me : lol. nvm.
u : sry, cnt make u happy.
me : i'm happy . dun worry.
u : i doubt so.
me : i m. dun tink too much
u : hais... okay
me : why u haix?
u : i duno if u are lieing or not...
me : even if i m. even if u know i'm not happy these days it oso doesn't matter.

doesn't matter. cause u cant do anything to it.
i've put in all my heart and soul.
and i'm returned with being lost.
u said i don't care bout u anymore.
u said i gave up on u.
all these is cause by one thing : i don't expect anything from u already.
i tried coaxing you.
using the method he told me.
i told u i miss u.
never did i expect u to return this to me : y u always like that wan...
what else can i say?
all i can reply is : o. ya lo. haha
don't worry. i wouldn't be like that anymore.
even if u asked for it.
i will only be like that for that ony moment.
don't expect me to be like last time coaxing u when u should be the one doing it.
your coaxing will forever not last for more than 10 mins.
so forget it.
i asked you out that day.
you told me that you're aren't free.
i've got this reply several times.
but 1 day. i went out shopping myself.
i told u i was alone shopping myself.
u were disappointed.
saying why didn't i asked you out.
so after that.
i asked you out again.
you said. sorry. i've got parents meeting.
u thought i was sad.
but i wasn't.
i'm immuned to it.
i can do everything myself.
i wouldn't need your company anymore.
i'm not what i'm used to be.
my only last thing i cant do, you also cant help is that i cant let this relationship go.
how many days, weeks, months of tears i've been keeping.
its bursting out soon.
i know u are busy.
i don't want to burden you with my feelings either.
i have no choice but to keep it from you.
i don't know if its my problem or is it your problem in this relationship.
but all i know is i cant go down like this.
all i need is to let u go before i say break.
i want to make it to a point that i will not let a tear out of my eyes when i say : lets remain as friends.