BlogYYY

March 13, 2010,11:10:00 am

yesterday went out with him down to synwin.
after that went to the esplanade library where i met my syco friends.
saw jie lin yesterday too!

the concert yesterday was rather nice.
saw mr lim at the concert yesterday.
was surprised.

to him:
i know you're busy.
but i didn't expect you to be busy the the state that you cant even spare a few minutes for me.
i asked you to change for me for once.
i asked you to manage your time properly so that i can have the little time of yours.
but all you tell me is you are only free on sunday morning.
i asked you if next week you are really that busy.
you said yes.
i don't dare to think how busy you are for the next 2 yrs of your jc life.
its like just the starting of jc life, and you are putting me aside.
what will just happen if we continue to walk on?
i don't dare to think how long more do i get to meet you.
its been 2 weeks plus.
and the previous time we met was only 2 hours.
when will we meet again.
during the day when i want to say break?
or is it during my birthday?
or worst still.
might not even see you till my birthday is over.
i remembered previously i said you can concentrate on your studies.
we can like talk once a week and we can meet up once in 2 weeks.
i said that before your jc started.
you said you cannot take it.
haha. but it seems that you are better of than me now.
weird.
you can totally give me cold shoulders for weeks.
not talking to me for more than a week.
not going out for 2 weeks. stepping into the third week now.
for your sunday morning.
i let you to have your beauty sleep.
what can we do in morning? go jogging is it.
i promised you in yesterday's sms that i wouldn't harass you.
that i will break with you after giving my last attempt of salvaging the whole thing.
it seems that you cant possibly change for me.
is alright.
maybe i'm having a unique boyfriend.
other guys in jc can go out with their girl once a week.
talk on the phone everyday.
i blamed myself for everything.
maybe cause other girls worth the sacrifices of their boy.
and i'm not.
from the start i warned myself not to sink in the realtioship.
you said why cant i love you like what i did to melvin.
now i did.
you're treating me this way.
thanks. seriously.
you said i seems to be giving up on you.
what hope can i carry on you now?
you can concentrate on your studies.
i will definitely do what i promised you.
i will leave you alone for the time being.
i hope you can think bout it for urself.
i have tried all the ways to save everything.
i know you're not mine anymore.
i know your new girlfriend is your textbook and your new school.
i can say nothing, but only to blame myself for being not understanding enough.
its my fault.
its never yours.
i'm a bad girl of yours for the pass 1.5 yrs.
i'm so sorry.
i will give you what you want most.
just let me carry the last hope.
hope that you will change.
by the end of april.
if things are still like that.
i will definitely leave you alone.
i will not harass you for the rest of your life anymore.
i will give you what you most wanted now.
which is to break with you.
cause i don't see the point in holding on to the relationship anymore.
cause i'm the only one that is making the effort to change.
and with my changes, you didn't even glance at me.
i hope you will be happy with the ending.