just backed from malaysia this morning.
have thought lots of things over the weekend.
managed to think through somethings.
managed to let go certain feelings.
somehow, somethings that i felt that its important isn't that important to me anymore.
i'll stand up at the exact point where you made me fell.
i came back sorting out all my thinkings.
taking you as a normal friend and not a boyfriend anymore.
we broke for almost 1 month and i admit that i'm still treating you like a boyfriend even after we've broke.
still there concerning you.
still there thinking for you in everything.
from today onwards i will not be doing all these stuffs anymore.
i've cried for 1 month.
and i felt that its enough.
of course i'll still think of you when i see couples being sweet to each other.
and of course i'll envy them.
but if you want us to be seperated when we're still loving each other i've got no comments.
cause i know 1 day my feelings for other boy will grow.
and 1 day my feelings for you will fade.
just that i don't know when this day will be here.....


nth much...
got back all my quizzez results.
and i'm totally not satisfied.

math:    17/20 (full marks gone cause of careless mistakes!)
defund: 15.5/20 (supposingly to get 16.5 but its due to careless again! and my A flew. )
ckt      : 25/50 (just on the dot. fuck.)
fasc     : 15/50 (flunk it like shit!)
effcom : 13/15 (still ok)
writorial: 14/20 (second attempt somemore. (screwed anyway)

argh...
and term test is next week siol.
f**********
yes. its a wake up call for fasc.
but i cant find the pest year term test!!!!!!! GRRRRR.
my ckt is like...... Zzz
got to mug during the hols already. no joke.
violin exams are around the corner too.
scales, sight reading totally not prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
o no...
next week is term test.
its syco performance too.
i got to go back to SCH everynight for prac.
that mean i only have 6 hours to mug for term test each day.
can't afford to sleep anymore.
NO!!!!!
and my brain. stop thinking of the imposibble.
teacher is right.
i cant afford to collapse at this point of time.


hasn't been blogging for a few days.
first thing.
this week was quiz week.
high chance of passing ckt and defund.
but my A simply is gone
fasc.... i think i flunk it.

this week was rather tiring.
esp wednesday i didn't even sleep properly.
was chionging my presentation and redoing my research journal.
studied ckt till like 2?
thursday morning woke at 7...
went to school.
screwed up my ckt paper and my A flew.
screwed up my presentation too.
mum says it might be because of lack of sleep. =.=
got to redo next week. crap.
thanks to brenda, mei xian, zi xuan, kenneth, bin han, and faizul for their support and encouragement for next week redo presentaion.

today had a nice day with zhao wang and xian xian <3<3<3
went to watch shrek.
really nice!! XD
finally have a day to relax.
but got to mug soon.
cause term test is coming.
=(
i'm going older soon.......


crap. next week is quiz sia. =(
anw. i think i'm starting to let go le ba.
however somehow still feeling abt jealous cause i saw that he's talking to other girls.
ya.
but i know it got nothing to do with me anymore.......


say frankly, if i'm not sad than i would be inhumane.
just cried while playing violin.
totally couldn't concentrate on my studies.
cause everything that i'm thinking now is our past.
all the hugs and kisses.
don't dare to listen to emo songs.
cause i know i would cry.
i don't want to cry. but i cant stop.
i miss him dearly.
but i know i got to let go....
its time.....

gona meet mx and zx for dinner later. =)


i'm back!!!
yep.
i just broke with him.
hope he'll be happier.
but you guys need not worry about me ok!
cause he'll still be my bestie.
he'll still be my brother! =)
and he'll still be there when i need a shoulder. XD

yyup.
next week is math quiz. o dear.
cnt play already. =(
10% sia!!!!!!!
okok. mug mug mug.
tomorrow i'm going out with my xian xian and zx.
=)
cant wait to see both of them.
tomorrow is definitely gona be havoc
cause 3 crazy women is going out!!!!!!! XD

Labels: but i still love you., even though i'm not with you

today is CCN day.
there's jam and hop in TP just now.
sadly, i'm not able to make it cause of the mother's day concert.
i'm sooooo gona go for the next jam and hop. SERIOUSLY!
cause i miss so much dancing with nabil!!! hearts!!!<3<3<3
and jam and hop is the only time where i can officially go crazy. XD

took a couple of picture during CCN today.
shall upload tomorrow.

today's concert is totally fabulous!!!!!!!!!
omg....
today Mr quek cracked so many jokes....
aww....
sudden;y just feel like going up to him and hug him!!!!<3<3<3
ok. shh shh. he's old enough to be my dad. =X
ya. but he's so great .
and i missed him sooooooo much.
cause there is no syco these 2 weeks.
i can't wait for the next practice.
i'm soooo looking forward to the intensive practice at june.
cuse i get to see him everyday!!!
XD
looking forward to seeing him on 17th may!!!
=) <3<3<3

what a happy day......


finally got over my long day.
looking forward to tomorrow!!!!
tomorrow will be going for the mother's day concert with my mum. =)
ya.
so today i went for the sectional practice for CO.
was alright afterall.
at least is wasn't as boring as dazu.
but so sad.
i missed the changkat gathering. =(

anyway.
ya. i'm having a cold war with him.
but i feel that is no kick.
cause i'm ignored too many times.
so i'm too season to it.
ya. don't talk than don't talk.
but i dont know why...
i thought i cannot take it anymore.
i thought i would beg him to stop ignoring me.
but miracally, i felt nothing anymore today.
yes i miss him.
but not like last time, where i want him back so badly.
so happy that've made this step!!! =)


1. Back rubs/massages.

2. French Kiss.
3. Whisper to each other.
4. Skinny dip.
5. Hold hands.
6. Buy gifts for each other.
7. Roses.
8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.
9. Kiss at every chance you get.
10. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.
11. Hugs are the universal medicine.
12. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.
13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.
14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie.
15. Spend every second possible together.
16. Tell her that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. And mean it.
17. Look into each other's eyes.
18. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.
19. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.
20. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.
21. Buy her a ring.
22. PDA = Public Display of Affection.
23. Take advantage of any time alone together.
24. Tell her about how you answered every question in math with her name.
25. Let her sit on your lap.
26. Lips were made for kissing. So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.
27. Always hold her around her hips/sides.
28. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.
29. Unless you can feel their heart beating, you aren't close enough.
30. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.
31. Break every one of your parent's relationship rules for them.
32. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes.
33. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.
34. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.
35. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.
36. Ride home and call them.
37. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.
38. Brush her hair out of her face for her.
39. Hang out with his/her friends.
40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.
41. Everyone deserves a second chance.
42. Make sacrifices for each other.
43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.
44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.
45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.
46. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.
47. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.
48. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.
49. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."

Labels: if only u could do half of these to me....

i love today.
cause i finally get to go home early from sku!!!!
tomorrow is gona be a long day again.
from 9 to 4. =(
was almost late this morning la.
the bus only comes at 8.50!!
and my class starts at 9. grrrr.
wads more.
2 bus came together.
i'm so pisses!
i hope on to the slower bus.
the bus driver drove so slow!!!!!!!!!!
slower than the tortoise that's walking la. gosh.

i reached school at 8.59.
ppl infront me is like walking so slow.
chiong pass them.
went to meet brenda at reach class at 9.02.
phew. not late.
the good thing is there's 15 mins allowance.
and today is tat nah nah period.
if i reached at 9.16 i'm dead.

tomorrow will be having CO sectional.
i miss mr chua!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
shit.
all the quiz and tests are coming soon.
study study study!!
there'll be effcomm quiz tomorrow.
i totally don't know how to study.
seriously. Zzz.
and i'm not done with my wrtoral project. shit.
gona do now. =)
toodles~

Labels: i never thougt i, need you there when i cry

today school is like a damn longgggg day.
ya. i slept in FASC. =X
cause its super boring. =)
went opp school with my clique for lunch.
they wanted to eat at KFC.
so we went there perspiring.
and there's no place. =.=
so we went down to macdonald's.
its super packed la!!!
so we end up eating zu chao.
=.=
and is hell warm.

had defund lab.
forgot to bring my breadboard to school.
so i told my teacher that my dog was so hungry that he mistook it as a bread. =)
ok. stupid.

i'm sssssssoooooooo not looking forward to this friday's ccn day.
i'm only looking forward to friday's mother's day concert.
=)

i'm just back from violin lesson.
argh....
2 months left.
2 BLOODY MONTHS ONLY!!!!
pass pass pass . PLS PASS!

baby is too busy to sms me i guess......

OOO AND JOKE OF THE DAY!
me:  KENNETH!!!!!!!!! YOU NEVER ZIP SIA!!!!
him: "look down at his pants"
me: where you looking?!? i'm saying that you didn't zip ur tool box!
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


had school today.
was released early.
so went home to bathe, eat and have a short nap.
went back to co with my cello.
and i realise i'm the only 1 bringing my own cello.
=.=
went through fei tian.
the condctor sat down there for 1 hour before starting the CO.
=.=
pro. he can sit there for so long without talking.
fei tian was relatively easy.
but......
ok nvm.
later people say i arrogant.

i suddenly miss syco.
i'm so gona join syco next year.
that is what a real standard CO is.


woke up kind of early today case i cant really sleep.
my heart aches even when i'm asleep.
really. its very pain.
everytime i on the phone to see if you've smsed me, everytime is a dissapointment.
i know you wouldn't sms anymore.
i don't know what does this mean.
is it you want to break?
i didn't want to say hall those words to you, but you forced me to say.
now that i've say you're treating me this way.
i know you wouldn't sms me anymore.
just that i can't take the blow.
as in....
i tried so hard to prevent you from ignoring me.
but now, you're still ignoring me.
wat am i to you?
you said you understand me.
but do you really still understand me?
i'm just so disheartened by your act.
if you want to ignore me, can you at least tell me what i've done?
you have no idea how hurtful is it to wait for your sms.
tears are just like my 3 meals these few days.
i know i got to let you go now.
before i break with you, i just want to know what i did.
i want to know what i did to receive such treatment.
what i did that you wana break with me.

if only tears could bring you back to me,
you would have been brought back.
cause i've been crying so much and so hard.
its really dificuly to fake a smile out of my face.
but i still got to do it.
you said you love me.
but you bear to torture me ths way....
is this still love.................................................................................


went out shopping with my family today =)
bought like damn lots f things.
bought new water bottle and all that. =)
felt abit better after crying out while bathing.
thanks to darling mei xian and those friends that hav been cheering me up.
don't worry. i'll be alright and will go crazy together with you guys again on monday!!!!

to him:

how i wish i could really mean what i said.
how i wish i could really find another better guy.
but sadly, i cant bring myself to do that.
i initiated to talk to you.
you ignored.
i initiated to apologise.
you ignored too.
i'm the one that's hurt.
but why are you the one ignoring me.
what i did to deserve this?
don't worry.
from today onwards, i wouldn't be distrbing you.
i wouldn't be contacting ou till you contact me. =)
i know you need your time to heal your wounds.
wait till you need me than you sms me.
i'll be there for you. =)
hope that you can heal your shattered heart soon.
i'm sorry for breaking your heart.
so sorry.
but no matter where i am or what i do,
my main thing is i wat you to be happy.
no matter what, i'll still love you as much as before.
i'll miss you loads this few days.

love you.

Sim Mei XIng =)
[jas]
gurl, 17
I'm living in rainbow town. I'm a innocent, naughty, and playful.
warning*** i bites.


her beloved bf Zx, mx, stella, diana, elena, brenda, bin han, kenneth, mustain. Colors : blue, black, grey
Foods : i love all kinds of food!!!
Movies : nodame cantabile!!

Contact me

YM : blablabla@yahoo.com
MSN : blablabla@hotmail.com